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Sunday, January 18, 2009

1960's Advice From "Miss Coldfax"


Caption: "Dear Miss Coldfax, my boyfriend was told he needs eyeglasses, I HATE eyeglasses, but I love him--should I leave him if he gets them?"

Aunt Savvy found this cartoon, "This Funny World," by Tom de Angelo (published circa 1966-1967), amongst her childhood memorabilia.

This cartoon is less humorous now than it might have been back then. In fact, in these sensitive times, this bit of biting humor is downright offensive.

Obviously, the implication is that a beauty-challenged woman could snag only a blind boyfriend.

Of course, the mythical "Miss Coldfax" could not actually see the young woman asking for advice about the boyfriend who needs glasses, but she would probably arrive at some accurate conclusions.

First off, Miss C. would wonder why the letter writer would want her lover to go through life practically blind; at the very least, she would think her young correspondent was a few bricks short of a building.

Sooner or later, Miss C. would figure out what was bugging the woman and would probably start her answer with some questions:
Why would you want to deprive someone you love the opportunity to see the world? Are you hiding something? Are you unattractive? Are you fat?
After posing those questions, Miss C. would offer this "helpful" advice:
Of course your boyfriend should get eyeglasses. If you are hiding a physical deficiency from your boyfriend, then you need to admit it; you wouldn't want to wait until he can see you with absolute clarity, now would you?

In any case, expect him to be shocked and angry. If you have prepared him properly, he may agree to remain with you, but on the condition that you work diligently on improving your looks and (if necessary) losing weight.

Then stick to your beauty regimen.

However, don't be surprised if he leaves you outright, and who could blame him?
Fast forward to Aunt Savvy's advice:
While Aunt Savvy cannot condone your hiding some important facts from your boyfriend, she understands why you did it. But now you're going to have to reveal the truth.

In your heart, you understand that your boyfriend needs glasses and that he will get them, no matter how you feel about it. In fact, you should be excited and supportive!

Aunt Savvy suspects that you may view yourself as unattractive and/or overweight, which may or may not be the case. However, even if it's true, your boyfriend has a good idea of how you look and feel to him. After all, he is not totally blind. It appears he loves you and your personality and accepts you as is.

Aunt Savvy is not going to offer you beauty or diet tips; if your boyfriend truly loves you, he will accept you the way you are, even if you have a prominent overbite and are slightly on the portly side. If he doesn't, you will at least find out now (instead of later) that he's shallow and a cad--in that case, you would be better off without him.

But Aunt Savvy does not believe this for one minute.

Before leading him off to the optician, tell him (jokingly, of course), "I might not look like the girl you fell in love with."

He will probably laugh and let you know how beautiful he thinks you are.

Now go with him and help him pick out those eyeglass frames!
Hmmmmmm! Now why did Aunt Savvy save that clipping all these years?

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